Post: March 8, 2017
The upward trend of women’s wages has been stalled since the mid 1990s. Are men holding women back from garnering the money they have earned? Perhaps there are a few stragglers.
But instead of looking back and assigning blame, I believe it’s even more valuable to begin to look at this stagnation through an updated lens. A lens that’s neither male nor female and foresees a world where good, hard-working people of all genders and walks of life have the capability to prosper.
There are plenty of people working on this issue at state and national levels. But what can you do as an individual to begin to pursue equal pay for equal work?
Like any vital cause that has lost its energy, it’s always important to determine what part of the issue you have control over and what part you don’t.
You cannot change the past. You can be part of affecting the future.
You do not have control over other people’s decisions. You do have control over how you view yourself and if you are able to prove that you have indeed earned a promotion and higher wages.
You may or may not have the ability to communicate directly with decision makers. You do have what it takes to develop a strategy, practice it and then clearly and succinctly ask for what you have earned.
Through my research and years of helping professionals influence their audiences (from 1-1000), here are the top reasons why wages have stalled for more than two decades.
1. We’ve have been focusing on the major cultural shifts (families and technology) our society is undergoing.
2. We often broach the subject of negotiating for higher wages while in fear.
Issue #1: Ask most women who share their home with a full-time, working male partner, who is in control of the overall health and welfare of the family and, unequivocally, the answer is, the women. While there are literally millions of great men, husbands, fathers and fair and equitable employers in this country, almost always, it’s the women who ensure that the family is emotionally and physically healthy. Regardless of the size of your paycheck, most women do not want to relinquish the innate right and privilege to drive the well-being of the family.
In addition, focus, over the past couple of decades, has shifted from wages to technology. It’s been imperative that everyone (in the workforce and elsewhere) learn and master technological advances. Then, once you do, technology changes incredibly rapidly so you must spend your precious time keeping current.
The issue of habit inducing electronics must also be addressed. Who hasn’t gotten lost on social media when you could have taken time to clear your busy mind? I think you’ll agree that it is through quiet time that we assess what is and is not working for us, what we want to stand for and what causes we choose to prioritize.
Issue #2: Fear is what keeps most people passive and away from becoming effective communicators. So, how do you counter fear? Fear surrounding anything can almost always be diminished when you know and own who you are and you are refreshed. So be well aware of your strengths, respect where you’re vulnerable and own it! Plus, care well for yourself and give the project of negotiating for fair and equitable compensation plenty of time.
A few other tips:
• Keep a thorough, ongoing record of your accomplishments. Put them into some semblance of order and, if possible, assign a dollar amount to them.
• Work to become as calm and comfortable as possible. How you feel about yourself is directly related to how you make your “audience” feel.
• Do your best to understand your audience and what they need to hear as they continue to grow their business/the company.
Now, practice the words you’re going to say, out-loud, so you can become comfortable with them. While you’re doing that, anticipate questions and reactions of the people you need to sell yourself to. And remember, when you get to “state your case”, do so in a way where your “audience” knows that you have both yourself and their best interests in mind.
After asking for what you have earned, stop and stand in your powerful silence while maintaining good posture and eye contact. You’ll find discomfort in this step, so practice it.
You cannot control the outcome. But you will have a much greater chance of success when you take time to envision both best case and worse case scenarios.
Right before you negotiate for your promotion or raise, do your best to envision a positive result. Then, “detach from the outcome”. By detaching, you’ll enter this uncomfortable discussion a bit more relaxed, knowing you’ve done your best. And then see what materializes!
During the 2016 presidential election, Donald Trump was asked what his daughter, Ivanka, would do if she didn’t receive equal pay for equal work after asking for it. Mr. Trump’s reply was, “she’d leave”.
This is not an option for most. But it’s imperative that we continue moving this economic needle forward. That’s the only way we could ever provide the same response that President Trump gave after being asked about his offspring.
When employers realize they’d lose you if indeed they didn’t provide you with fair and equitable compensation, they might think twice before choosing not to give you what you have earned.
It’s imperative that everyone; both genders are economically self-sufficient. In fact, if Mr. Trump’s plan to reinforce the economic stability of the middle class comes to fruition, men, especially less-communicative ones, may be able to learn from the diligent work women have done and will continue to do to attain equal pay for equal work.
I’ve seen numerous professionals who have asked for raises and promotions receive the money but not the title. Or they receive the promotion but only a small wage increase. Only you can determine what does and does not work. But I challenge you to try to acquire both. And if you don’t receive what you want and have earned, clearly ask the question, “if not now, then when and how”?
Then maintain your silent again.
Meanwhile, do your best to fortify yourself with enough cash in case you need to advance your career elsewhere.
We do not have total control over the issue of fair and equitable compensation. What we do have control over is whether or not we want to begin to reframe the issue and regenerate energy for this vital cause.
It’s my hope you do. Even if it’s just for the hard workers, both men and women, in future generations of this great country of ours.