4 Tips For A Greater Balance At Work
What’s happening to human-to-human connection at work? According to the Gallup Organization, interpersonal communication between employee and their direct supervisor is on the decrease and passivity is increasing. Blame electronics, our addiction to cell phones, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the lack of effective communication is directly related with underachievement. It also leads to a huge spike in stress and increased cortisol levels in our bodies.
According to best selling author and leadership guru Simon Sinek, we humans need small to moderate amounts of cortisol flowing through our systems. This stress hormone helps motivate us to take necessary action and actually provides us with some needed energy to get momentous projects done, in record time and with great results.
But the tendency towards shying away from communicating effectively instead of leaning into honest, candid and often uncomfortable conversations is contributing to stress levels that are already off the charts and causing real health issues. Too much cortisol in one’s system leads to everything from an increase of glucose in the bloodstream to a threatened immune system.
But here are a few things you can do today to counter the over-reliance on communicating electronically. These tips will help you open the lines of communication inside of your company so you can acquire greater connections, more trust, an increased sense of belonging and (counterintuitively) a moderation of your stress!
1. Envision Best Case Scenario
In business, we often remain passive communicators and hide behind our computer screens because we don’t want to deal with “what might be”. We could be worried about hurting someone’s feelings or fear having to deal with uncharted territory. But remember, “worst case scenario” is just that. They are negative thoughts. It’s OK to take time to prepare for the worst but don’t stop there. Do not assume that what you foresee will actually happen. And know that we humans need other humans. We not only need positive recognition, we need guidelines, boundaries and connection. Plus the best way to strengthen yourself is to do things that take courage. Effective communication takes talent and courage. So prep for the worst but try to envision the best. Then detach from the outcome and go for it.
2. Ask More Questions
So often we choose not to speak at work because we think we need to be a great conversationalist. Whether you’re a rising star or a seasoned pro, asking more questions is the first step towards opening the lines of communication. A great question is often open ended, like, “you’re back from vacation, I bet it was great!” Or, “you landed the XYZ account! You must be thrilled.” And, of course the most important question a boss can ask his or her employees is, how can I help”? So come out of the office once or twice a week and try it. Then work on the next tip.
3. Listen To Understand
The most underrated communication skill is the art of listening. With our current attention span of less than 8 seconds, we humans automatically try to think of a response while we listen, instead of truly digesting what it is the person is saying. Notice this tendency. And try to counter it. When you get the nudge to respond, try asking another question. Then, lean in and listen. Offer plenty of eye contact and do your best to feel what that person is feeling as they’re speaking. Whether sharing a joyous or challenging story, in the midst of delegating or collaborating, a person responds favorably and will begin to form a greater sense of belonging and connection when they know they are not rushed or judged. They are heard.
4. Feel The Burn
If we want to keep our bodies physically strong, we head to the gym, even when we don’t want to. It’s the same thing with communication. Like lifting weights or taking that spin class, you might cringe at just the thought. But remember, effective communication is like a muscle, strengthened with use. It’s easy to say you don’t have the time or it’s not worth the energy it will take, but if you delve into those difficult conversations or even perfect your presentation skills, guaranteed you’ll feel stronger. This is how you build everything from your resume to the teams around you. And keep going! Like working out, consistency is the key when it comes to speaking, interacting and communicating effectively. So keep your gym bag in the car. And always try to have the tools you need to communicate effectively: approachability, influence and resilience.
Electronic communication is not going away. And we don’t want it to! But do try to balance it with human-to-human connection. Over time, it can bring more strength and a greater endurance (dopamine, testosterone) to you and your people. Plus, paradoxically, it will decrease the stress level while increasing trust (oxytocin, serotonin) for both business owners and employees alike.